As the most famous self-published Science Fiction author residing in Hillview, you are eminently qualified to judge their annual Elementary School Science Fair.
Hell, even a seagull would hit the spot right now, roasted crispy over a flame-- He immediately put all thoughts of food out of his head because at the moment it was just torture_...
When suspects and witnesses are property, not people, how should those who seek the truth proceed? Date robots. Avert scandal. Bring protection.